This is not going to be another one of those “My History of Weight Loss” posts, because I have already done that. You can read it here:
That was written 2 months ago and sad to say, nothing has changed since then. I did not have success with my 30 day challenge I gave myself. I had some momentum for a while, then lost it once the kids started school and I failed to establish a new routine right away. But I have hit my breaking point. It has been exactly 3 years since I started my weight loss journey with Beachbody and Shakeology. And I realized on Saturday that I am exactly where I was 3 years ago. Unhealthy, unhappy, and ready for a change.
On Saturday I went out shopping with my mom and sister to find a dress to wear to my Grandparent’s 60th Anniversary Celebration that we are throwing for them. It was a horrible shopping experience. First of all, I really wasn’t looking forward to trying on clothes, let alone dresses. But I need one. The first store we went to I found a handful of dresses, then was off to the fitting room. After a couple of no’s, I found a maybe. But I needed a bigger size. Bigger than the big size I had already grabbed. That was painful. The dress was nice, it’s a very pretty dark teal and black. Mom and Sister loved it, they both said it looked good. I thought it was nice. I liked how the skirt was pleated and flowed out from my body. My legs looked good. I felt pressured to say yes.
I came home and put on the dress to show Hubby. Of course he liked it and told me how beautiful I am. But I didn’t feel beautiful. I felt fat. And ugly. No woman wants to feel like that. He told me I was crazy, that he thinks I am beautiful no matter what. I appreciate that, I truly do. But I didn’t feel beautiful.
Yesterday I broke down a little. We were talking about me wanting to get back into a routine and how I felt. I broke down into tears. I am not happy with what I have let my body become again. Having to go out shopping for clothes and buying a size I swore to myself that I would never wear again was hard. Stepping on the scale this morning and seeing the number I saw 3 years ago was hard. Looking back at pictures of when I had lost weight is hard. Looking at myself in the mirror now is hard. I am ready to get rid of those hardships once and for all and face my new hard.
Losing weight again.
I have done it before and I know I can do it again. I am ready for the sore muscles, the hard workouts, the sweat dripping down my face, the feeling of exhaustion and elation after crushing a workout. I am ready.
Today I started the 21 Day Fix. I have had success with this program before and am hoping for it again. This provides me not only an awesome workout, but helps with my nutrition too. And I definitely need help in that department as well!!
So here it is, my proclamation that I WILL SUCCEED in losing weight and getting healthy once and for all!!!!